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Gentle Questions for Hard Days

counselorwhitney

A cup of tea and a cozy blanket.


Some days are harder than others, and that’s totally normal. On days that are tough, taking some time to really make space for yourself beyond your to do list is especially important.

 

Try these questions for some exploration, awareness, and to create some space for yourself.

 

·      What is making today hard?

·      What emotions do I notice right now?

·      What sensations do I notice in my body?

·      What story do the feelings and sensations tell me about what is happening?  

·      What do I need right now?

·      What words of kindness can I offer myself?

·      What do I need to hear right now?

·      What would I say to a friend going through this?

·      What is one small thing I can do to feel even 1% better?

·      Who can I reach out to for support or connection?

·      What can I do to nurture my body today?

·      When have I felt like this before?

·      What helped then?

·      Is there something I can let go of, delegate, or set aside for now?

·      What’s one good thing in the day today?

·      What’s one thing I’ve handled well recently?

·      What is one comforting thing I can do right now?

·      What’s one thing that I feel I can control today?

 

These are questions that I use with clients in sessions sometimes, and inevitably, we sometimes encounter some “can’ts”. A “can’t” is when a suggestion like, “What do you need to hear right now?” brings up a response or thought like, “It doesn’t matter because no one is going to say it to me!” Totally understandable. That may even be the case – there might not be someone immediately available that understands and can offer what you need, but YOU can. You’re allowed to offer yourself the kindness that you need, the reassurance that you desire, or the break you need before returning to whatever is at hand.

 

While you’re pondering these and journaling them out, if you encounter an internal response of, “It doesn’t matter because I can’t have that!” Stop. Breathe. Can you offer it to yourself? A self-hug? A bit of kind reassurance? 5 minutes under your favorite blanket? A cup of tea and a quick sit outside for a few minutes?


One of the BEST and completely free things we can do that we often don't is to just stop, take a break, and ask ourselves what's going on. Our automatic thought might be, "I know what's going on! I don't need to ask!" But this time where we sit with what it is, for ourselves, with ourselves, as we would a friend who came to us in distress, is vital for self-care.


As always, take care of you. While I am a therapist, I'm not your therapist. Seek out a mental health professional in your area when in need or doubt! Take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't!





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